The Onion is one of my favorite parody-based Internet news sites. Their stuff is outrageous and hilarious. This short is about President Bush trying to make the Iraq War more eco-friendly. The suggestions made are multiple countries carpooling to combat, making aircrafts out of balsa wood that will burn up if it is shot down, testicular squeezing instead of electrical testicular torture.

I totally agree, torture should never be wasteful. With the carpool, you’ll cut down on harmful emissions in our atmosphere. The balsa wood planes would burn up and create no waste. Even Leslie suggests, “clean coal-powered testicular electrocution,” but her colleague is one step ahead with wind-powered that will “deliver the same shock to the testies.”

Let’s “green” up the world.

In The Know: How Can We Make The War In Iraq More Eco-Friendly?

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This is by far the most interesting technology I have seen in a while. Although, this Bluetooth technology is not new, this started out for single amputees. The Bluetooth technology is there to mimic the other leg, Marine Lance Cpl. Joshua Bleill’s double Bluetoothed legs mimic each other.

On October 15th, 2006 a bomb exploded under Bleill’s Humvee while on patrol in Iraq. The explosion caused him to lose both of his legs above his knee, now he has 32 pins in his hip and a 6-inch screw holding his pelvis together.

This new generation of prosthetic technology was originally conceived to help amputees who had lost only one leg. But it’s working for Bleill and Army Lt.Col. Gregory Gadson, who is also using the Bluetooth devices in his legs.

“They’re the latest and greatest,” Bleill said, referring to his groundbreaking artificial legs.

Bleill is one of the two Iraq war veterans, both double leg amputees, to be able to use the Bluetooth prosthetics. To keep the prosthetic legs moving in a coordinated fashion, computer chips were installed in each leg to send signals to motors in the artificial joints.

Bleill’s set of prosthetics have Bluetooth receivers strapped to the ankle area. The Bluetooth device on each leg tells the other leg what it’s doing, how it’s moving, whether walking, standing or climbing steps, for example.

With him having this technology he also spends less time in a wheelchair. Since it has built-in motors, Bleill’s legs allow him to walk longer before he tires. He uses canes to walk with them for now, but he is hoping that one day he will be able to ween off the canes and walk without them. He said, “I can walk without canes, but it’s not real pretty”

“It’s only going to react to how I move,” Bleill said. “Unfortunately, sometimes I don’t know those reactions, I don’t know what I’m doing to make it react. So sometimes the leg kicks harder than I want it to, or farther, and then I start perpetuating, and I start moving faster than I really want to.”

Aside from the Bluetooth technology, Bleill’s legs have one other thing in common with a cell phone. They need to be charged overnight. Currently, there are no spare batteries available.

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